We all have something that we are abnormally afraid of.

If I were to see a spider in my room it wouldn't phase me! Even if a mouse squeaked underneath my bed, it wouldn't freak me out enough to make me leave my room. But anything that flies will have me outta there in a second!!! And right now its 2:26am in the morning and I'm sitting in my living room because a massive moth just took ownership of my room, so I switched off my light, left my door WIDE open, and came downstairs hoping that the moth will be out by the time I pluck up the courage to go back up. 

I don't know what it is about flying insect's?! They seem to be the most invasive of all creatures, buzzing around the house as if they have special ownership because they have wings. I've never liked moths, or those flying daddy long leg monsters and my worst fear of all, butterfly's!! I hate them, they freak me out soooooo bad! Their innocent cutesy colourful disguise just does not work for me, they still fly and land on your face as if its okay because they are yellow with pink detailing; no just no, its still not okay! 

Ever since I was little I've always been one of those kids that were scared of EVERYTHING. Even till this day I still have the weirdest phobias! My cousins used to love scaring me with baby dolls and masks and even a blow up scary spice doll; which I only just discovered was what caused one of my biggest and most repeated nightmares as a child! But honestly it can be so exhausting having so many fears which other people can't understand because its specific to you and relates only to your own experiences; so its always a nightmare having to explain why hot air balloons scare the shit out of me, and why I couldn't go to Damian Hirst exhibition because of the one room filled with live butterfly's. We all have something that we are abnormally afraid of, but my fears always seem to trump others. But somehow now that I am older and somewhat slightly wiser, I have now started lining the dots together from my childhood to my current phobias; and all I can say is that I have my cousins to blame. They took advantage of a little girl who would cry for anything and then when I say I'm afraid of hot air balloons they brightly point out how silly it is. You see I never knew that the spice girl blow up doll that my cousin (who loved scaring the shit out of me) bought me was a doll; until recently I always thought it was only a large balloon of scary spices face, which I believe lead me to my fear of air balloons in the first place. I used to scream as a child when I saw a hot air balloon! This one time when we were driving across Tower Bridge with my uncle, dad and cousin, I remember spotting a hot air balloon and wouldn't stop screaming and crying, begging for my uncle to shut all the windows, especially the one on the roof of the car; but he never, he just told me to shut up. 

Adults never seem to take fears seriously, they just see it as an inconvenience. I always thought that I would be mean to my cousins kids as they were to me when I was young, but now I'm older, I could never do that to a child, for them to experience what I did, even if their parents did leave a long term effect on me; I just couldn't do that because I have compassion and a heart. The funny thing is; the same hot air balloon that I was screaming after on Tower Bridge happened to crash later that day, hows that for inconvenience.